Soon.

Top Gear Series 11… yes, it’s really happening.

Good ol’ Andy Wilman (Top Gear’s producer) sent me (and millions of others) an email this morning, and it’s primarily about the Top Gear gang getting together to brainstorm for new ideas.

At 10.30, half an hour after the appointed start time, James rang and said he was lost, going round in circles in Watford. Jeremy meanwhile, in honour of the brainstorm, had brought along a laser pointer for the power point presentation, with which he managed to blind the waitress bringing in the tea and coffee facilities.

Humor aside, there are several juicy details concerning the upcoming season.

“Gear” becoming official?

We’ve all known for some time now that NBC was (supposedly) preparing an American Top Gear spinoff called “Gear,” which was to star Adam Carolla as the host. Amazingly, it seems that this story wasn’t complete bollocks, as NBC now has mention of a Top Gear-esque “new show” on their website.

In fact, it’s so Top Gear-esque, it’s called… Top Gear? Huh?

Sounds good to me. Don’t worry about making some crappy American spinoff that can’t do auto reviews because of corporate sponsorship. Jeremy Clarkson is oodles better than ol’ Adam, anyway.

BMW to take on Audi’s R8?

Unless you’ve been under a rock (or perhaps not interested in high-end cars), you’ve surely heard of Audi’s amazing R8 supercar. It’s got it all: style, performance and grace, and deals with all of them in a fresh new way that other companies (even Ferrari, in fact) may have difficulty matching. The R8 is both a performance car and a technophile’s dream, and it makes no bones about it.

BMW, on the other hand, have been busy uglying up their cars for the past few years. Certainly, performance is still good, and reliability is said to have been improved, but a quick look at a new M3 or M5, and one realizes that the dream is over. These cars are so ugly that all desire for speed or performance is ripped from one’s body at the very sight of the curvy little headlamps.

The question has been posed: can a company now busy with ruining previously good cars release a car that is good enough to take on Audi’s new juggernaut? If a new BMW concept is any indication… maybe.

Clarkson on Steve Fossett.

Jeremy Clarkson has devoted his monthly space in Top Gear magazine to a very nice look at Steve Fossett, the missing adventurer. Certainly, it’s a bit opinionated (as every Clarkson piece is), but it’s a very nice salute to a very unique man.

It’s been a long time, but I’d like to think that there’s still hope for Mr. Fossett. Here’s to finding him alive-and-well.

Top Gear is back.

…Not that it ever left.

Top Gear will return on October 7 in all its high-speed, maximum-torque, hamster-loving glory. Complete with dog.

Series 10 will have 10 (yes, ten!) episodes, more than any other season of the new format.

From the BBC Press Office, regarding episode 1/10:

Top Gear revs back into action for a new series. In the opening episode, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May revisit their attempt to build amphibious cars and face up to one of their biggest – and choppiest – challenges to date. Also: The Audi R8 attacks the Top Gear track and Dame Helen Mirren is the Star In A Reasonably Priced Car.

Now if only I can find the time to watch all ten episodes with my new schedule at UC Davis. In the words of Clarkson: “How hard can it be?”

Top Gear power slides into American homes.

Popular British telly program “Top Gear” is finally being shown on BBC America, after two years of petitions from American fans.

The show, which features British celebrities Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond, features regular auto reviews, celebrity interviews, and various stunts that are both humorous and entertaining.

Clarkson’s belated offense.

It seems it now takes months to decide if something is offensive or not. In fact, in this case, it was just shy of a year. From pinknews.co.uk:

“Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson has been criticised by broadcasting watchdog Ofcom [...]”

Ah, I see. Certainly, this must have happened at a recent event, like an awards show, perhaps…

“The BBC’s head of editorial complaints conceded that his comments about the Daihatsu Copen in a programme broadcast last year were capable of causing offence. ”

…because when people are offended they tend to react immedia- wha?! Last year?! Yup. July, in fact, on an episode of his terribly funny and entertaining car programme Top Gear. If you’ve never seen it, you do not know what you’re missing. Anyway. Back to the “offense.”

“Clarkson [...] asked a member of the audience if he would buy [a] car, to which he replied “no, its a bit gay.””

I see. The audience member started it. Certainly we’ll be censuring him, as well.

“The presenter then said “A bit gay, yes, very ginger beer.” ”

Translation: “Ginger Beer” is Cockney slang for homosexual.

As it turns out, Ofcom, the company creating the complaint from thin air, had to look up the word “Gay” in the dictionary. There, they found two common meanings: a, homosexual, and b, foolish or stupid. However, because he also used the slang term “Ginger Beer,” the second definition must be ruled out:

“This, in Ofcom’s opinion, meant that the use of the word became capable of giving offence. ”

It “became capable.” Wow. Who would have thought that Ginger Beer can make something so powerful? Where can I find some of this magic beer?

Word to the Wise: if you have to search the Oxford English Dictionary to prove something offensive that was said in good humor on an entertaining TV show almost a year ago… it is you who is offensive, for thinking the populace is so in need of political correctness that we’ll just die if we don’t get our daily dose. We get enough of it already, believe me.

Just for good measure, I should call Ofcom gay. Foolish and stupid. While I’m at it, I might as well do the same to pinknews.co.uk.

“News, Reviews, and Comment from Europe’s Largest Gay News Service.”

Oh, well. Two out of three ain’t bad.

[posted with ecto]

Malasia? Where’s that?

It seems that our friends in Malasia have taken offense to some of Jeremy Clarkson’s comments and actions regarding one of their… ahem… top-of-the-line vehicles.

From BBC News:

“Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson has come under attack in the Malaysian parliament for labelling one of the country’s cars the worst in the world. The BBC presenter has been filmed attacking the Perodua Kelisa with a sledgehammer before blowing it up.”

Heh heh.

“But minister Abdul Raman Suliman defended the nation’s car industry, saying Mr Clarkson was like a football commentator who cannot play football. He told MPs, Perodua had not received a single complaint from British owners. He added that the comments were made merely to boost sales of the Top Gear magazine.”

Aw. Poor baby.

“Mr Clarkson has voiced his frustrations with the small three-cylinder model in both magazine articles and on the Top Gear motoring show. In one article, he said its name was like a disease and suggested it was built in jungles by people who wear leaves for shoes. And on the show, he described it as “unimaginative junk, with no soul, no flair and no passion”. He then smashed it, hung it from a crane with a one-tonne weight attached, before blowing it up.”

Wait. You mean that Malasian cars aren’t the best in the world?

“Perodua is Malaysia’s second national carmaker and began producing small compact models in 1995.”

…and will hopefully stop producing them very soon.